Welcome to Episode 2 of Cooking At #36 with Billgella Lawsoote.
Our legal people have been combing through our initial agreement with M/s Lawsoote and it does indeed appear that a clerical error DID spin the series out from the original 3.6 episodes to an eye-watering 36 episodes.
With the caveat of ‘ne’er the same kitchen twice’.
We present to you, the uninformed swill at the bottom of a glass of a really gritty Bordeaux, the sort you want to finish off with a knife and fork, the second in our (slap me now for using this hackneyed term) journey — pronounced with four Js: jjjjourney around the kitchens of Australia.
Today for your information, edification and inebriation, we have ‘White Whine Fillet Surprise’.
Short on the whine, long on the wine.
Warning: Billgella works a little blue in this edition beamed live (and by live, we mean recorded three weeks ago) from Paddington, NSW.
Here’s what some food pundits are saying about Episode 2.
‘I kept falling off my chair’. – Matt from Basildon, Essex.
Surely faulty office furniture is an office services issue, not the kitchen’s.
“Where’s the bacon?” – Johnny RT from Sydney via Liverpool UK.
Have you ever crossed a Basa with a pig, JRT? We tried once, and the pig thrashed around in the shallows for half an hour. It took us twice that long just to get the smile off his face.
DISCLAIMER: Again, please note this edition is not safe for work (NSFW). We did road-test it on a pre-school group at the Sorbonne School For The Gifted Culinary Toddler and the feedback was unanimous: “We’re including you in our mandatory reporting to the relevant authorities.”
Billgella Lawsoote returns in the new year with a multicultural melting pot Episode 3 from the heart of Kebabland, Sydney.
Dashing up Oxford Street tonight to get to the BWS bottle shop by 9.55pm, because NSW liquor licensing doth sayeth thou shalt not serve takeaway alcohol one second after 10pm.
Google Maps said I had 3.2kms to cover in 45mins. Yeah, try roughly a kilometre. I stopped and asked a Security dude outside The Paddington Inn at about 9.27pm how far it was, and he said, about 100 metres!
And it was at Paddo BWS that I met Denis serving behind the counter, and he told me about his band, Limited Head Space.
And he wrote the band name down on the back of a docket.
Right now, Denis and his mate, also in the band, have just shut up shop. It’s 10pm and the grille went down at 9.55pm. NSW Liquor Licensing laws: thou shalt not vend takeaway alcohol after 9.55pm. I may have mentioned that before.
BWS are all over this like a cheap suit. I have been that guy who stormed away at 9.56pm, stormed back at 9.57pm, then fumed off into the night before the sweep hand had time for another full revolution.
BWS St Leonard’s, April 2014. Ah yes, I remember it well.
The original text above cut out because in the 36 minutes that I was sat there outside Astton Shoes and some indie Bed, Bath and Table shop, my browser had fallen over nine times.
Ten times. I’m going to embed their video then make this thing pretty later.
Eleven times. Farouk!
My wine 🍷 is getting warm!
Bill Quinn with “Neville” the Labrador
Oxford Street, Paddington
22:22 Saturday 21 November 2015
Cooking At #36 is a new series launched today from kitchens around Australia, eventually the world.
This innovative, jerky-handed phone camera series takes you, the poor, ignorant, unclassy, unclassified, joke of a wretched wastrel, awash in a sea of processed mediocre food, TV dinners, and fast food that’s slowly filling you up with salt and plastic — we take your sorry arse pics…
I’m sorry, I’ll read that again.
We take your sorry aspic, and sauce a better way to cook.
Episode One (Shredded Wheat/Blowing Mayo aka Resilience Is Useful).
The pilot was produced in a secret Holsworthy kitchen. Another pilot was picked up in a Moorebank Sports Club – she was either Randy or Chastity; such a fine line betwixt and between, I find.
Road-tested on six selected Overheard Productions friends and strangers who all were unanimous in their reviews:
Greek Fetta Chorus: “We’re calling the Critical Assessment Team. Put down the phone and step away from the maple syrup.”
Actually, they said lovely things, but I’ll add the reviews later.
There’s time for one. “Alison from Athenry” says, ‘Show us your chips, Billgella!”
And another: “Axminster Al from Barking in Essex” says, ‘What’s with the fruity 80s English accent?’
On Thursday 12 November 2015 at 2.30am, the Wattle Grove branch of Michel’s Patisserie had the quickest reno it’s ever likely to get.
And probably without the requisite planning approvals from Liverpool Council.
You can read all about it elsewhere, and probably watch some news footage too, including the young Channel Nine reporter and her cameraman who looked like a hipster who’d escaped from Rozelle, and was wielding for network television news transmittal (I ship you not) a Go Pro.
Huzzah for technology.
Here are a few pictures of the devastation, plus some video courtesy of Overheard Productions WTAF and Overheard FM. Reporting for all channels, here’s Phillip Mahkawfee-Khup.
Your reporter, Phillip Mahkawfee-Khup, has more.
Pictures are being added but this is for the 11pm news, so cut it, print it.
Actually, the sun was long gone by the time Fantuzzi closed out proceedings. And as they finished their last number, the vollys were just getting going and took responsibility for their own entertainment.
I was professionally torn. My obligations were long since dispensed with. I wanted to capture some vision of the band, but……….