On Friday 9 September 2016, at approximately 23:40, officers of the Queensland Flying Peleton Brigade boarded the train to Cleveland which had been held at Lota station and removed Bill Quinn.
Mr Quinn is current head of logistics for the Overheard Group, including Benevolent Ethical Entertainment Presenter (BEEP!) of Overheard Productions and Tawp Dawg at Bill The Housesitter.
Mr Quinn was spotted later that night in the comfy chair at #36. He’s chill. And there’s a perfect extra resource with some of these bit players.
[I’m leaving that sentence there because in time, the meaning of whatever the hairy heck it was that I meant may reveal itself. Picture a man, barely alive, lying in bed at about 3am, trying to stay awake long enough to post a brief update, but whose face kept falling asleep and slamming into the phone.]
Ask Bill if you’re looking for some promotional exposure.
But right now he’s talking Braille, so please check back at 11pm on Sunday 11 September (London time), 8am Monday 12 September (Brisbane time) or call +61-555-000-000 (for a good time).
Capalaba, Redlands Council District, Queensland, Australia
UPDATE 2300 London. Friday 9 September 2016.
Wrong teletext machine. Back soon.
UPDATE 2330 London. Friday 9 September 2016.
2330 in London where it’s a balmy 19 degrees celcius, 87% humidity, and the winds at 14kmh.
From which direction, Google Weather? Get it together! It’s no good knowing it’s blowy without knowing which direction you’re being blown from.
I’m sorry, I’ll read that again. Winds at 14kmh, and if you’d like to know which way, we suggest sucking a finger and sticking it up.
Then go outside and check your weather vane. You probably think this song is about you. Idiot!
We’re back live in the studio.
Gulp! It was about you. And me. You thought you were getting Bob Dylan. Gods know I was!
On Overheard FM, that’s the sound of Idiot Wind there with ‘Mama, You’ve Been On My Mind’.
A song there for anyone whose mother is on their mind. RIP to Mary Agnes Jessie Quinn, 5 September 1936 – Wednesday 10 August 2016. About 6pm-ish.
Back to the news and special correspondent Phillip McKawfee-Khupp joins us from a truckers’ caff in Rickmansworth.
Thank you, Ankerss Ahr-Whey in the studio. I’m standing in this greasy caff, holding a mug of questionable really strong brown tea – Roasted Dandelion with Honey, I’m being told through my earpiece, with one possibly two sugars, we’ll update you in the next bulletin, and a chip butty to bring you the latest from Brisbane.
This we now know. At approximately 7pm on Friday night Australian Eastern Standard Time, William Francis John Quinn IV twice removed (once by marriage, once by the bailiffs) arrived at Lang Park, or Suncorp Stadium as it sometimes known, and made his way to aisle 304, row 22, seat 53.
More on this story, much like an outfield catch in the third class cricket match in Somerset: as it comes to hand.
This is Phillip McKawfee-Khupp in Rickmansworth reporting for Overheard FM.
Phew! Only two minutes over. Was that ok, cheif? I’m heading over to Highbury for more. But was that ok? Howzat?
DIPPING YOUR BANANA IN A SUBSTANCE AND WHAT?????
Director’s notes: Seriously, this is why I do this stuff. Two amazing musical discoveries made by random selection, like pulling letters out of a Scrabble bag! And I know what I want for breakfast. Come pups! To the local shops at Maridale. Chip butties all round!
UPDATES ON THE HOUR. NEXT UPDATE AT 1AM, LONDON TIME which I believe would be midnight GMT. Let’s check, shall we? We shall?
Nailed it! 1am update coming…. at 1am. Or midight GMT.
Don’t forget at 11pm London time this Sunday 11 September 2016. It’s the Matt Barker Radio sensation – whose name escapes me, but it starts with an ‘M’ – he’s being interviewed by Overheard CEO Bill Quinn. Subject to good behaviour by Bill and no more run-ins with the constabulary…
The Matt Barker Radio Show
Hear all the shows at your leisure: https://www.mixcloud.com/mattbarkerradio/
“My favourite radio show in the world” – Bill Quinn, Overheard Productions
UPDATE SATURDAY 15:36 MANCHESTER UNITED 1 MANCHESTER CITY 2
As the ticker tape starts to clear from Old Trafford, and the last pair of sky blue track pants are returned to the waists of myriad supporters, raised from the ankles where they had been dropped in a time-honoured Mancurian Derby tradition known as ‘Lunar Exhibitus Uhp Yawse Muppet’.
And as the last happy little City Ground traveller makes one last lyrical tribute to where their red-shirted and faced city-dwellers take it, how they take it, how often and which hymns of praise they sing to accompany the taking of…it, we are forced to turn the mirror on us, the mainstream media and ask the difficult but important question:
What the bloody hell are we doing in Manchester if this happened in Brisbane, Queensland?
We had expected for an update by now from roving London-based reporter, Eardin Chukhill Mai-Bruvah but we’ll have to come back to her as we find ace reporter and champion cat-juggler Phillip McKawfee-Khupp on a slow boat out of Surat Thani heading towards the lesser known islands in the Gulf of Thailand, where some tribes are so primitive they don’t currently own wireless ear buds.
Thank you, Ankerss Ahr-Whey. Here’s what we understand at the moment.
Bill Quinn arrived at Lang Park at 7pm, spent a few minutes taking his bearings then headed for a slow 45-min circumference of the stadium concourse, passing many locals but also members of warring tribes to the south who came ready for battle and Monty Python sketch recreations:
(He also blagged a Titan flag that were only being given to current members of the Titan Rememberers Club, but he sweet-talked the flag-bearer.
The game was run and won, the home town cheered, the Titans rued the day they stopped being seagulls, and of course there was that nasty disciplinary incident with Thor being dropped down to the Valhalla Under 20s for three rounds.
Directly after the game Bill made his way to Roma Street station, forgetting to never look at the departure boards on game night, as the departures are less to schedule and more to, ‘Aw yeah, you wanna bounce, Casey Jones? Off ya shoot!’
It was approximately 20 to 25 minutes into the trip, at about 23:40 that the train ground to a halt for no apparent reason. After minutes of stationary-ness and only one unlikely-sounding announcement did several uniformed policeman and wimmin arrive, speaking first to a young urchin who could not be told to stop swinging off the hand thingys that hang from overhead and you put your hands in.
Then the door next to Bill opened and officers beckoned him to step off the train.
TO BE CONTINUED…